Hi there

Hmmm...it;s been a long i never written anything on this blog

Hmm...So many things happen lately
Missing my honey bear like anything...
My acid came, ambushed and left me in pain

Mess
Mess
Mess
What a mess
You know what i am saying if i said mess, eh?

Anyway i am going to see the sun from another place this friday...
I need a voice recorder but sadly can't ask from my honey bear
But also don't fancy to buy it..as it's quite expensive for kind of device like that
Yeah I better write it down on paper or safe it in my brain

Hmm...
He's mad at me
Don't know for how long
He's quiet
he doesn't sound any
Anyhow...
Let him also heal his wound...

Yay...
Can't wait to see my soul in my dream...
:-)

I want to have a baby

It's been nearly 4 years and half since my last pregnancy. Now I don't know just how, I feel like to have a baby. To carry a life inside my body, to preserve the goodness. I just want to fall in love again, but this time with a pure soul like a baby. I just want to be occupied. I want to share my love to someone who's really pure heart, doesn't have any ulterior motive, doesn't take you for granted. Ahh, what am I talking about. Yeah I just ramble the thought that danced in my mind this morning. Hmmm...My moods really swing. I have to do something, what would that be?

Maybe erasing some expectations which bugged me most of these days. Do I need some pity from others? I don't know...Maybe I do...

I am just feeling bored...and the idea of having a baby just crossed my mind as a way out of these confusions. Arrrgh...Can't be like this all the time, I have to find the solution.

Sleeping all day?
Going out to places?
Have a decent conversation?
Erasing expectations?
Roaring my wishes to the sky?
Seems so damn boring, doesn't it?

Maybe I walked so fast that I start to expect the world should walk in the same rhythm.
Maybe I ate so quick that I felt hungry so quickly as well
Maybe I loved too much that I started to get hurt..

AYAYAYAYAYAYA...
Shall we eat?
a Baby?hmmm maybe next year aja!:)
picture taken from getty images