I am outta here

It has been 3 1/2 tranquilizing years at the place called Vertigo. Yes, i'm really resigning from the company I truly love to venture for another tranquilizing, exciting and challenging opportunity.

Here i am on my last day in this office. I am before my computer, gazing the clean scene in front of me, playing the songs on my mp3, recalling the great memories back then, sending the announcement letter of my resignation. Hmm...i have to hold the falling tears from my eyes. I am moving forward for surely the right reason that is My Dream. Yes indeed i feel sad.

Tomorrow, that's the time when i pursue my goals, i can't go back..must step forward...

well, i ain't gonna forget the tremendous time i had with my fellows here. I am gonna put it all at the special corner of my heart..

Bye everybody, time to move on...
~kruger~

Detik demi detik...

Detik demi detik...
tik tak tik...
semuanya menyusun taktik..
Tiba - tiba terlihat semua intrik

Kaki bersiap melangkah
Berharap senyumku merekah
Namun yang terlihat hanya merah marah..

Mengapa ketika aku ingin mengingat semua hal indah tentang rentang sebuah masa yang hendak kutinggalkan, justru murka yang menjemputku. Satu persatu pelangi yang menempel di awan jatuh. Aku melihat langit yang kosong. Mengapa semua keburukan itu hadir terlihat di akhir?

Mungkin semua ini terjadi karena sebuah maksud agar aku tidak usah menengok ke belakang lagi dan memantapkan langkahku ke depan.

Sampai jumpa Lawan maupun Kawan..

~kruger~

My bags are packed..i am ready to go...

It's been a 3 and half rockin years in this place....
I've been drilled to be a good writer to the analitical thinker...
Now i am moving forward, catch my dream...
well, think i am gonna miss all the great memories back then..
I have to look forward not backward instead...

Moving can be so painful,
though moving can be the healing,
the fresh air that i need,
moving anywhere, where the love exist, just like butterflies,
Moving to the new sound,
new colour
new feel,
new life,
moving....
i'll keep on moving...
Taken from the song Breathing from album No Added Sugar - Tommee and The Neighbourhood

~kruger~

I should

Accept all things as truth no suspicion afterward
Release all the feeling and not hide it away instead..
Burn down my ego.....

And then i'll be so much better...
~kruger~

After all

Nice to hear your voice again..
After all....
~kruger~

one step at the time

All obstacles are being handled by GOD..
I just have to wait for the verdict...
In the mean time i sit and watch what's shrouding my vision...
In the mean time i inhale and exhale, feel the true friend pour loves and affection to me..

In the name of joy and glorious of Allah..
I pray...

~kruger~

How to mend the laziness?

A Q from the lazybones..
~kruger~

Inevitably fate

Inevitably fate
Inevitably fate
Inevitably fate
Inevitably fate
Inevitably fate
Inevitably fate

~kruger~

Aku sudah mulai sedikit demi sedikit dewasa..:)

Beberapa kejadian yang terjadi belakangan ini, mengajarkan aku banyak hal..
Terima kasih untuk Immortal..untuk pencerahannya, bahwa aku tidak boleh menganaktirikan kepedihan dan kesengsaraan, ataupun menganakemaskan kebahagiaan.
Kebahagiaan dan kesengsaraan/kepedihan tidak pernah datang sendirian. Mereka pasti datang bersama - sama. Sama - sama memelukku dengan penuh cinta. Dengan penuh kasih mereka memelukku dan tentu sudah sepantasnya aku harus menjamu mereka dalam satu ruangan yang sama, memberikan semua raga dan jiwaku secara adil.

Karena semua itu membuatku jadi dewasa dan melihat hidup ini lebih berwarna. benar - benar berwarna.
Aku bisa jadi merah terang dengan kemarahan, aku bisa jadi biru dengan kebahagiaanku, aku bisa jadi putih dengan kebijaksanaanku, aku bisa jadi hijau dalam kearifanku....

Cintaku pada hidup semakin bertambah, aku sudah mulai sedikit demi sedikit dewasa..
Tahun ini 28 tahun aku hidup, tidak hanya menghirup oksigen dan membuang karbondioksida, tetapi mencoba menjadi manusia seutuhnya.

Aku mampu, dan pasti akan selalu bisa menjamu kedua sisi kehidupan, bahagia ataupun tidak, selama aku masih bisa bernafas...

~kruger~

How does it feel when your soul leaves your body?
for 5 minutes i wanna know how it feels....

Can i?
~kruger~

Sore ini di depan komputer

Aku melempar pandangan ke jendela. Hujan turun deras sekali, disertai petir yang seperti pisau hendak membelah bumi. Aku meringkuk kedinginan. Kubesarkan volume suara MP3 playerku. Sambil memejamkan mata -ditemani Annie lennox yang bercerita tentang keengganannya menunggu dalam kesia - siaan- aku menahan segala kepedihan. Hidungku mampet. Flu sedang dalam lawatan rutinnya ke badanku. Walau terpejam, mataku seakan tetap berkeliling melihat ke sekitar. Aku seperti lepas dari tubuhku. Melayang, menembus waktu, mengulang berbagai kejadian secara bersamaan.

Kembali ruhku.
Kubuka mataku. Meja masih berserak. Sebentar lagi aku akan merindukan meja ini. Aku akan pindah, mengepak barang - barang yang ada di sekitar mejaku. Sebentar lagi kenangan selama hampir 4 tahun akan kubungkus. Kubawa serta ke tempatku yang baru. Walau semua kawan dekat menyemangatiku akan kepindahanku, aku seperti tidak terlalu antusias.

Sepertinya kebahagian yang akan datang padaku sebentar lagi ini, begitu besarnya....sampai harus menyeret kesedihan untuk duduk bersama dan memelukku dalam waktu bersamaan.

Dharrrrrrrrrrrrr...
Petir kembali membelah.
Masih terduduk dengan kepala pusing. Tidak bisa menangis (aku susah menangis)...
Kutengok sesekali jendela, kutatap senja yang sebentar lagi menjemput. Malam segera datang.
Janjiku dan doaku berebut ingin terucap. Satu persatu kupersilahkan melewati semua ragaku, untuk lebih cepat sampai ke tujuan.

ingin tidur berbalut selimut dan pelukan hangat.
Ingin minum obat. Aku pusing sekali.

Sore ini di depan komputer....
Mataku mulai lelah...
Ternyata sudah jam setengah tujuh....
Malam ini aku harus bertemu astrid..
Sahabatku tersayang...
.....

Sore ini di depan komputer..kucoba berjanji pada diri sendiri untuk lebih baik dari kemarin...

~kruger~

A Notion

If only i could patch things up with many obstacles in my life...
But i have a notion that this' because of my stupidity back then..

The redemption of my stupidity is now spreading out ..
While i manage to breath, i saw the shinning reflection before me..
Will it be a way out?

I know, what's hard for me now, is what i am going to celebrate afterward...
~kruger~

How can i help you, while i can't help myself?

Answer from a friend: Hope "someday""somebody" will help you...
ME: What????????????

Hmmm....A friend indeed is a friend in need...

~kruger~

Seperti

percakapan dua orang tentang penggambaran sesuatu..

Seperti apa rasanya cinta yang kemarin kau rasakan?
Seperti Tuhan dari segala waktuku
Aku tidak ingat apa - apa selain cinta
Aku tidak ingat kalau di dunia lain ada orang lain selain aku dan dia.
Aku tidak bisa lepas dari setiap gerakan memory indah dalam otak dan hatiku..

Wow ...berapa lama kau rasakan itu?
Hmm cukup lama...

Sampai sekarang?
Tidak, rasa itu berganti.
Dengan rasa benci...

Seperti apa benci yang sekarang kau rasakan?
Seperti cinta yang kemarin aku rasakan.....
Seperti Tuhan dari segala waktuku
Aku tidak ingat apa - apa selain rasa ini
Aku tidak ingat kalau di dunia lain ada orang lain selain aku dan rasa ini...
.

Wow...berapa lama kau rasakan perasaan benci ini?
Hmm aku rasa tdak akan kurang atau lebih dari saat aku mencintainya....

~kruger~

Tomorrow....

My tomorrow's fortune...

Monkey,Rat,Dragon are found on this day. When they are together, Water becomes extremely strong. Something related to your reputation, helpers, parents or health might happen during this time. The sign for this period is associated to career and reputation, not money. First, your reputation will be good around people which will, as a consequence, open the doors in helping you in your needs. Later, they may even help you get a good position in life. If you have a new business going, everything will go smoothly on this day. The money sign is not strong on this day. What you have to do is focus on your career. Then money should follow. Generally, the luck on this day to you is good. The concise prediction for this day is "Fame, help and career all come."

wanna know your fortune? click here
~kruger~

Manusia Bodoh from Ada Band...

The excerptions:

Tiada yang salah
Hanya aku manusia bodoh
Yang biarkan semua ini permainkanku
Berulang ulang kali


Mencoba bertahan sekuat hati
Layaknya karang yang dihempas sang ombak
Jalani hidup dalam buai belaka
Serahkan cinta tulus di dalam takdir

for more click here

~kruger~

It

I held my breath while it came in..
I close my eyes, for i couldn't bare to see the unsincere thing in front of me..
It will appear sooner of later, just a matter of time...

The pain it given me hasn't cured yet..
Sheesh...
How can things turn out to be that frightening?

I held my breath once again..
It started to hurt me..
God ....God...
Help me...
~kruger~

Is this The love day?

Many people misinterpret love..
Sometimes we thought that it is love..

But hey don't get fooled by the love syndrome, cause sometimes when we're having a lack of self-confidence, we become more sensitive...(absolutely!) that would lead us to the path where:

A gaze could mean a love at first..
A compliment could fly us to the seventh heaven..
A small attention to what we say, could mean "We're really clicked each other"..
A flower could mean, He/she loves us...

Well am not being a cynical creature here..
And I don't have any gloomy experience in love as well...

But anyway, I have found a true sincere love from my spouse and of course undoubtly love of my son ...Langit...

Nevertheless...
Happy Valentine's day..peeps...
Hope you could meet the true love in the so called world of probability..
Cheeers ...

Love can mend your life but
Love can break your heart - Message in a bottle - The Police -

~kruger~

The excerpt of my trip to Bandung....

Do we look like The American's troop in Iraq?


A journey to find the turning point...
Well done...
Fueled a new spirit..
Yet fueled another confusion to my decision..

~kruger~

A Letter from the "unexpected"

My life is getting better since i eventually got rid of "the unsincerely creature"...
But as i checked my email...i found the letter from the unsincerely creature....
i sighed...i managed to erase this unsincerely creature from my " calm life", yet it seemed couldn't read between the lines...

But anyway...
....I didn't relpy it..
what a heck..

heheheheh
~kruger~

pfuihhhhhhhh...exhausted to the bone

Well...well well..
Exhausted ...i just got back from Bandung..
Story's coming up...

Let me inhale and exhale for a moment...
sigh....

~kruger~

I am going to Bandung this weekend..

prepared presentation..
Buy some snack..
Bring my baby's photo along...
Bring my spouse's pic..along..
Bring my reggae CDs..

hmmmm..
what else...
Buy ..."unsuggested drink to indonesian"
hehehehehhe

Actually i don't like bandung..
.....~kruger~...........

Awaiting any miracle to surface....

~kruger~

Everybody tends to resurface than drowning in the sea of sorrow...

This morning i am mourning again..A collegue decided to resign. She told me that she has to stop everyday lurch in her brain everytime she steps in to the office. With the male bonding in here, i actually managed to move out...Find a better and promising future..

I am smart, yes i know it ever since...
I am tough, as tough as you can imagine..
But as you see, everybody has a limit..
The question is..Has it reached your limit?

In my case..it has...
So be it..
I won't drown in the sea of sorrow..
I prefer resurface in the oxygen world..
Where i'll be able to inhale and exhale freely without any pressure upon my face..
~kruger~

A reality doesn't match expectation...

Thank God I didn't have any expectation...
hihihih

~kruger~

Vague..am i?

My report is done..(by all means)..
scoured peeps blogspot..
hmmm...
Chatted with mickey..
And I found there's something in common between us
We wish to wake up certainly not tomorrow..
Me..want to wake up next week..
Mickey wants to wake up next year...
Is it the sounds of the cowardice that has a fear to challenge what tomorrow holds?

~kruger~

As the time flies..the new day comes..i began to hate it ..more..more..and more...
Is this a sign God has sent me ..
Or it just reveals itself..

Well the point is..it's not good..
It's wrong..totally wrong..
Leave it for good..
~kruger~

Maybe my card is under the spell ...heheheheh...

Thanks to my given brain from God..
I am not a kind of panic person..
I am more to sort of person who breathe at the first place and then think afterward...

I have blocked the card..
Though the card has been destroyed and that i didn't have any copy of it..
I found that i happen to put the copy somewhere in my case at home...

Hmm...
Maybe my card is under the spell...hehehehhe
maybe it's a negative way of thinking
but...it certainly held my bad way of living...What????
heheheheh...

~inhale...exhale...that's the way life goes....am proud to be part of it~
huge wave attacked my adrenaline..
Thank God ..i still have the spirit to carry on what YOU may give me...

~kruger~

I didn't go to Thailand..but my credit card did...

Damnnnnnnnn....
Damnnnnnnnnn....

i have just been informed by the credit card officer that my credit card is being used in Thailand..
WOW WOW..WOW....
I didn't go to Thailand ...
And the fact that i have destroyed my credit card, add more anger to me...
CONCLUSION:
My Credit Card is hacked...

My God..what's next..
common..help me out..
Thankfully..the amount was not that much..only IDR 249 something..
Hmmm....

Indeed i am olny hoping that there will always be a blessing in disguise...
~kruger~

Don't take it for granted...

Don't take it for granted..
Don't take an advantage..

We are all human...
Don't think that something or somebody will always be there....
.....

~kruger~

Back after 3 days leave...

Well...
Many things happened ...
Meet many people..
Meet my so called promising future..

I am here now before my computer..
Wondering what might the future hold for me...
While i am now facing all the piling jobs...
Sheeessshhhhhh...

Back to work..
~kruger~

Happy B'day..my dearest..friend... to my beloved friend...

Happy..B'day..my dearest friend...
Wish you all the best..
Forget the sorrow..
Challenge what the future holds...
I luv you......i luv you...
cepet cepet married..ya Immortal..
biar Langit ada temennya:)

Ehm..ehmm..Remember..
"Being Radical is being a good person"
~kruger~

Like I said -Tears in my eyes burn...Tears in my eyes burn

I was on my way to Pondok Indah, when i listened to the song "Waiting in Vain" sang by Annie Lennox..
Reminds me of someone..that pretty close to my life..
Well..hope you could accept what rainbow has painted the sky...
It's beautiful..
But i am to weak to touch it
It's just too high and far for me..

Low is where i am now..
High is where my memory still linger..

Tears in my eyes burn...Tears in my eyes burn
~kruger~