Wanna quit?

Hello..Helo.. (hola)
I'm at a place called Vertigo...Donde Esta??
It's everything I wish I didn't know
Except you give me something ...
I can feel...feel..

~kruger~

Semburat harapan cerah...

Mentari menyapu wajah lesu sisa kemarin.
Hangat menyelimuti
Walau ragaku berat dan lelah, jiwaku justru bersemangat
Aku pikir...Untuk menjadi lebih baik dari tempatku berdiri sekarang, Aku harus keluar dari zona kenyamananku. Buang segala kemalasan, keluarkan segala kemampuanku. Hidup bukan untuk duduk diam dan mengharapkan mukzijat datang...Hidup adalah perjuangan..

You Win some You Loose some..
Bagai dua sisi koin..
Saling mengisi..

beautiful day - U2: It's a beautiful day
Sky falls, you feel like
It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away

~kruger~

I am at my previous office now

Hola...
I am at my previous office now..it's My Radio.......well...kinda miss the old times ...
Actually i wasn't planned to visit this radio..i just stopped by..
Today there's a casting for voice over talent at the same building with my previous office..
Hmmm...I miss broadcasting...Miss you guys...
huhuhuhuhuhu

Go to go now...Erin is coming...she's my manager for this project
wish me luck..k...
once again..fingers crossed..:)



~kruger~

Hola Hola...

Me no go to Bangkok
Me stay here
Me ...
Me....


~kruger~

a friend said: Bagaimana mau lupa kalau tiap hari dengerin suaranya?

hihihi....
hihiihihihi...
hihihih....

~kruger~

terlalu pendek dan sederhana ?

segalanya akan membaik ketika kesusahan sedang datang
percaya akan hal itu ?
bagaimana kalau, ....
segalanya akan memburuk ketika kebahagian sedang diteguk

satu yang memberi senyuman
satu yang memberi air mata
bahagia moment kesayangan
kesusahan moment anak tiri
dari ibu kehidupan



- immortal -

A last nite...

Last nite Astrid picked me up ...
Me, and my pilling jobs..are so hard to be separated...Money talks!!!
Then we went to Goku - A shabu - shabu resto..
Caught up....many things..
And ended at her house...
met her mum...
Hmm...Gosh..Thank God i didn't eat a lot....
Got back at half 12...
When the clock stroke 12..
I closed my eyes..
Recalled what i have done that day..
And eventually pray to the God ..
....Hmmm..and hoped that i could keep my promise to erase all the "hate" and "regrets"..out of my life...

~kruger~

will I go...

Will i go??
Simply wish..

~kruger~

Another love match..

This Fast Love Match is surely entertaining..

Casually...
Just for fun..
Another Tranquilizing thing to do in the middle of your piling pending jobs..hehehehehhe

~kruger~

Playing with our future?

After written tv program concept.
I browsed and scoured on web...

Since i craved for luck..
I try to see my future..

Voila..
With the mercy of Internet i found it...

Wanna try?
Your forecast is hea....

~kruger~

Unpredictable...

I can't draw anything today..
All the facts are scattered by all means..
Doh!..how should i gather?
Yep, waiting is another solution, while craving is what i am now..
Practically i haven't got any decision yet.

I just have to cross my fingers...
Luck..Luck...
Come to me please, as i have waited so long for your presence..
My charm..where are you..
With bare eyes, I can hardly see you

~Kruger~

I try to forget it..
I try to forgive it..
I try to erase all the m'mories behind..
Left all the those"vain"

And most important..i make peace with myself...

~kruger~

a thought..

Mentari tak kunjung datang, hari ini sepertinya milik hujan. Dengan dinginnya yang semakin menusuk tulang, aku mencoba merapat menekuk badan, hmm semoga hangat memelukku.

Berbagai kejadian yang mengatasnamakan masalah membuat bibirku terkatup, lidahku kelu. Tak ingin sepatah kata keluar. Sepertinya pikiranku betah ada di otak, tak ingin terucap.

Bukannya tidak tahu jalan menuju penyelesaian seperti apa. Tapi haruskah kuselesaikan?
Bukannya waktu bisa menyelesaikan?
Hmmm jadi manusia yang tidak bertanggungjawab seperti apa rasanya yah?
Buktinya banyak orang seperti itu masih hidup dan tanpa disadari mereka menjadi lebih bahagia...
Wah apakah sudah terbalik semuanya?
Kebahagiaan adalah membuat orang lebih susah dan sengsara?

~kruger~

hmmm ....sigh....hmmmm...sigh...

The clue's about to come..
The conclusion's about to come...
I am waiting and praying as well..

~kruger~

WUSHHHHH...VOILA...My pending jobs are done..in just a click..

Pfuihhh..after a week of contemplation..
I've finnaly finished my pending jobs..
Apparently, if we are under pressure, ussualy what comes out of our brain, sometimes more creative...
I hardly admit it..but that's the truth...
But, i promise myself to be at least little better from yesterday..
Promise..promise...
bygone be bygone..
....
I challenge what the future holds for me..
No matter how strong it going to press my brain..
I am sure I can do it...

Cross finger...
~kruger~

Rain...

Down under the pouring rain
I am watching the highest thought that flies with the oxygen

Now the rain stops falling..
With the spirit, i am dancing with lotsa sparkling rainbow up high..

All the burden are fade away and am promise to live better than yesterday..

~kruger~

Percakapan dua orang lewat telepon

1: Hey, coba deh dengerin ini lagu...siapa yang nyanyiin sih?
2: coba kencengin lagunya...
1: Nih, bagus banget deh lagunya, gue kira yang nyanyi bule
2: hmmm ...aduh gue tau lagunya nih..gue inget yang nyanyi..tapi kok gue lupa namanya yah? Entar elu gue telp lagi deh..
1: Okeh

2: Hey gue tau yang nyanyi siapa? EKA DE:LI
1: Bagus yah lagunya, ngomong2 siapa sih Eka deli itu??
2: hahahahha, penyanyi lah..cari aja di duta suara albumnya...
1: SO how's your life?
2: hehehehehehhe..
1: I've read your "news", is it true..i mean the phone bills?
2: Not that true, heheheh... i exagerated :))
1: Well if it's true.i think you should review the way you live your life..., common..this is so not you...common...
2: heheheheh, i'll do my best..
1: yeah you will, i believe ..i am sure..you will..,take care ok...??
2. Thank you...
1: Yeah thank you ..too:D
2..Till then ...
1: bye...


~kruger~

nightmare's coming...

hmmm..i am shaking..
...would it last?
...would it be over soon?

i am shaking.....
~kruger~

just one fine friday evening..with the warm..of:

Macchiatto..(is the spell correct?heheh)...
decent conversation..
The music....
Sparkling eyes..
Musk...
the spirit...

Well..i miss the old stuffs...
The smell of coconut mist...
The debate...
The laughters..
The fussing and fighting....

I am too weak to get any rejection, said my friend..and perhaps so do i.....
Wanna dance now....
Common' babe..Light my fire..."Astrud Gilberto"

~kruger~

Two different cultures strike your faith in yourself...

I just talked to my friend this morning.
our conversation accidently came to topic where he found that caucasian female is more independent than indo female. (WHAT!!!???)
My friend lives in OZ for nearly 20 years
He's (of course) indonesian. To the lure of his aspiration, he would happy to marry an indonesian female, since he has married with caucasian female two times, and didn't work out right as well.

In my point of view, he maybe confused (and still to date) about what he wants.
Not that, nor this..
So?
Perhaps he should firmly choose one of the two options. Marry with indonesian- and accept all the difference, including the way indonesian female talk - or simply marry the caucasians - and truly accept the uncomfortable feeling of being intimidated..akahahahahahhahahahaha...(laugh 1000 times till i cry:D)

each of us is different. So ones can't compare to other about their behaviour or things else..
Just accept it.
Please don't act on behalf of HONESTY to insult the way people talk..the way people speak..or things else...
You or other caucasian or foreigner may be smarter or better than other, but that doesn't make you are RIGHT

well i think, what you assumed as an independent( any caucasian female) is only about being egoistic..

See your reflection in mirror..
You're living in two different cultures
Don't let it strikes your faith...

Dedicated to my fellow..
Wish you the best..with all the differences...

~kruger~

I love the shinning..sun!!!!

I am not feeling good today..
Actually i was going to leave early...
And there were we at my desk. My collegue ask me out to lunch.
Hmm, me sneezingly asnwered" i got cold..."
hmm..come on, then you should eat something "hot"..(doh!:)
Then i went to Bakmi GM.
We took a bajaj.
Under the shinning sun, i read some magazines and bought it afterward.

When i get back to office..i feel much much better..
I wonder what made me feel this way..
is it the shinning sun?
Is it the food?
or...

Eventually i reckon, that i seldom walked under the shinning sun!!!!
hmm..then just like my spouse said, i have to be more under the sun....
Hmmm i love the shinning sun...
:)
sun always shinning..if not..then it's .....????

~kruger~
Now listening to: Skunk Anansie, Hedonism (acoustic version)

Khayal

Seiring di batas waktu
Sesaat akan berlalu
Terlukis khayal di laut
Terbuai dalam lelap bayu

Adakah cinta bersemi melebur khayal di hati
Berpadu menghadap diri....bla bla..bla
....

Terucap nada dan doa
Adakah kenyataan
Engkau Lautan, Ombak dan Badai..
Bawalah daku dalam nikmatmu....

Sipping a cup of black super black..coffee
infront of my computer...
My dreams are dancing ..
I am felling high...

~kruger~

My today's conversations...(from morning till afternoon)

The excerptions of mytoday's conversations.

at my desk
My collegue:
She's an emotional living creature!! that's why there's nothing positive in her mind..
she always thought in negative way..
The way she asses people...the way she moves always according to negative thoughts..
Me: Pitty...
Result:
Then if i agree with that point of view, i shouldn't emphasized every emotional feeling i had..
Be professional, though i'm only a human..
Yes..needless to say..hmmmmm

inside the cab
My collegue:
You know, i have a friend who has strong motivation.
Me: You mean???
My Collegue:
She has saved her money since she was in high school, and later he used the money to make her dream come true..
Travelling around Europe..she spent almost 70 mio rupiah for 3 months travelling around Europe..
and to pursue her dream, she's barely stop spending her money for nothing:D..she even brought a meal every time we met..
Me: Oh really?
My collegue..: Yes true!!!
Result:
When there's a will there'll always be a way..
You have to own the spirit to pursue every dream you have..
But what if i don't have any dream yet?
.....

~kruger~

Yesterday a.k.a a Hard day...

Meninggalkan kantor dengan terburu - buru dan tentu saja SALTUM. Bagaimana tidak, jadwal shooting yang semestinya dilakukan hari Rabu, akhirnya dimajukan menjadi Hari SELASA!!! Huaaaaaaa..Dan aku memakai sepatu berhak tinggi, baju berbahan wool dan jeans!!! SUPERB!!!...

Ya sudahlah...apa boleh buat... Aku berempat dengan kameramen, runner dan AE berangkat menuju Cilincing. Dengan petunjuk yang tidak terlalu jelas, yang membuat kami akhirnya berputar - putar di sekitar tol Cakung, akhirnya sampai ke lokasi shooting. Sebuah gudang besar.

Begitu masuk, ada dua hal yang langsung menyerang. DEBU dan bau kemenyan. Terlihat di tengah gudang besar ini, sudah dibuat lapangan basket dengan kerangkeng. Para Talent sedang melakukan beberapa adegan untuk TVC.
Karena shooting yang akan aku lakukan hanya sebagai pelengkap, maka harus MENUNGGU.

Akhirnya setelah mendengarkan penjelasan dari AGENCY dan diskusi dengan yang punya BRAND, shooting dimulai.

"GUE ANAK BASKET, LU BERANI NANTANG GUE?"

Berapa kali take, karena mereka kelihatannya tidak serius, masih ada yang bercanda sana sini. hmm....anak kecil!!..eits...ada yang seumur gue ;)) ahahahahhahaha...teteap aja..childish..

Selesai jam 9 malam!
Sampai rumah jam 10.00
Di jendela kamar, sudah menunggu Langit kecil.

Mandi, bertukar cerita.
Ngantuk...
Gak bisa tidur!!!
Langit, yang kemarin menurut dokter- sakit radang tenggorokan. Malam ini begitu rewel sekali ...GIGINYA MAU TUMBUH..dan tidak hanya tumbuh satu...sepertinya geraham kanan dan kirinya berebut mau tumbuh! DUH!

Aku gak tidur....
Langit menangis tiap dua jam.
Bagian dari lingkaran kehidupan
Aku juga bagian dari lingkaran kehidupan Langit
Berputar selalu harus berputar di sekelilingnya
Aku takut! Ya, aku kadang sering meninggalkan Langit dalam cerah ataupun mendung.
Aku takut! Dia lupa padaku..
Tidak mungkin?! ya mudah - mudahan..

Akhirnya mataku tertutup. Bergantian bersama my spouse dan "mbaknya" menjaga Langit...

Langit jarang rewel
Langit sering tertawa
Langit tertawa riang setiap mendengar musik.
Langit selalu ingat dengan bola - bolanya
Langit cukup pintar untuk sering berpura - pura sedih untuk mendapatkan yang diinginkannya
Langit hartaku
Langit motivasiku
Langit ....
Cepet besar ..ya...

Hmmm..kemarin memang hari yang berat...
Tapi aku punya Langit yang melindungiku dari kelesuan tanpa motivasi dan serangan "bad mood" tiba - tiba..

Love
~kruger~

I miss a man from the land down under!!!

I miss a man from the land down under..
then i just sing along this song from Man at work

"Do you come from a land down under?
Where women glow and men plunder?
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover.
~kruger~

Still having the Nerve

The "big meeting" wasn't happened yesterday..
Today i'm going to Cilincing (Gosh, far banget yakkkk!!)
There'll be several footage to be shooted..

Back to reality..
Am i going to be a great producer?
My logics are fighting ....
Will i resign?
Should i be patient like the way i used to be?
They're getting inured...!!!

~KRUGER~

I was and am a good mum!

Last nite i took Langit to see doctor..
He got fever..
Hmm..sore throat "EMPING!!! SIAUL!!!"

When i got home, my spouse hasn't came yet.
I went to doctor with my maid and baby boy..

indeed, i was so happy indeed.
I was and am a good mum..
I can do it..
yes i can do it!!!

Bravo!!!!!

~kruger~

A Flash Disk

Now my jobs come as easy as they want to be moved..WOW?
Now i have this flash disk on my hand.

And my wish is to buyPDA Zire 72, simple, quite affordable and soo... entertaining

Yet i still miss my old PDA Zire 71!!!which spoiled by ...hmmm i don't know..who spoiled it...
The LCD was spoiled..
All i can remember that when i got home after shooting process ...and found that my PDA has been spoiled:(

~kruger~

Gosh...

I'm waiting for the clue..the cue..to move on forward..not remain still...nor backward..
God Please..is this my further destinantion?
Will i get what i Want?

~kruger~

Any time machine, anyone?? Pleassseee

My player played the song from the soundtrack of Remember the Titan and Step Mom, that is Ain't No Mountain Higher (is it correct?heheh)...
Suddenly all my soul and mind are flying high to the moment or to the people i love...
Yes back then..
When Ratih is still around, still in the same office..when the tv show Ur style (which i produced) still aired, the shooting process...
Hmm...the moment with Astrid, with Dithe...so sweet indeed..
I also used this song as themesong for DIthe's pictures, that i gathered into one CD...

Ain't no mountain high
Ain't no vally low
Ain't no river wide enough, baby

If you need me, call me
No matter where you are
No matter how far
Just call out my name
I'll be there in a hurry
You don't have to worry

'Cause baby,
There ain't no mountain high enough
Ain't no valley low enough
Ain't no river wide enough
To keep me from getting to you

Remember the day
I set you free
I told you
You could always count on me darlin'
And from that day on I made a vow
I'll be there when you want me
Some way, soooooome how

My love is alive
Way down in my heart
Although we are miles apart
If you ever need a helping hand
I'll be there on the double
Just as fast as I can


~kruger~

I was suprised with some infos i got from my friend, that there's a hidden camera and mic as well in my office. WOW..wOW...what are they (bosses) going to do with that? Is here a jail? Well..Who's the prisoner then?
Hmm...So many happened today, all made my knees thrilled...
I am freakin' out..
I am so freakin' out..

Hope, i didn't say something that would lead me to jail (yeah rite!!!)..
but i'm in jail now anyway..

so release me..
I'll be leaving soon...
Just wish me luck..

~kruger~

I just got back from meeting at century hotel with PBVSI commitee.
Another project.
I don't have any passion to do that..
So...
Hmmmm...
~kruger~

Should I be or act like an insane, crazy, lunatic, demented to be a writer or an artist?
Or should i fuss over a silly thing..or over suicidal?

No way!..
~kruger~

God..i am shaking..now..
I felt so damn scared..
I feel like crying...

hu hu uh..uh...
my knees are shaking..
I felt languid

I just picked up the phone and apparently it was for my collegue in office.
It seems from her debt collector..
The man spoke so rude, that suddenly brought me in to the path where only dark and cold exist..
sigh.....

bumi ku menjadi neraka ku

laut itu yang dulu ibuku

menjadi perompak

meneriakan kata rahasia yang mematikan

horor,

kawan

kengerian yang akan teringat sampai semuanya selesai

daging mulia manusia menyatu dengan tanah dengan paksa

apa yang lebih mengerikan

air mata dan

air mata

menangislah

tangisi saudaramu,

tangisi saudaraku

bumi ku menjadi neraka ku

- immortal -

The Ballad of Seventh Heaven People - Episode:The Barrier

We know that Mamachi and Jungle boy are separated by two continents..
Yet they still live in the west pacific. Where all the barriers threathen them everysecond.

Mamachi put a smile at the cell phone.
She read all the messages- jungle boy sent toher.
Many times, she tries to send the replies, but no sign from Jungle Boy that he has received all the messages..

Probably the network, thought Mamachi.
-beep-
the cellphone is beeping.
Please reply this message ASAP. I want to check the network.
from Jungle boy

Mamachi replies certainly.
But then again no sign from jungle boy that he has received the message.

-sigh-
I desperately miss him so much...whispered Mamachi
The Sky is not so clear anymore as back then
The Sugar won't be as sweet as back then
The Sun won't be as warm as back then..
Back then..when..Jungle boy is still around mamachi..

~dedicated to my imaginary jungle boy and ma machi ~
KRUGER

Menunggu sebuah sinyal

Berulang kali kupaksakan untuk duduk tenang, menghadap ke layar monitor.
Tapi apa yang kukerjakan?
Bingung?!
Pantang untuk seorang aku! - sombong sekali yah!

Sudah 3 tahun aku duduk di sini.
Dari saat pagi masih baru turun, hingga kurasa senja sudah menjemput
Pikiranku begitu terbebani oleh sejumlah mimpi yang berusaha mendesak ingin diwujudkan sesegera mungkin.
Kuhela nafas, mencoba mencari setitik relaksasi.

Kembali pikiranku melayang pada minggu sore kemarin, saat seorang kawan menelpon dan bercerita bahwa selama ini penyakit yang dideritanya "dibuat" oleh beberapa orang. Biasanya aku dan temanku sering berbagi tawa, kali ini aku tercekat. Tak sepatah katapun yang keluar dari mulutku, hingga suara temanku mengagetkanku "Vre, elu masih di situ kan?" Oh he eh..masih masih, trus trus gimana?"

Meluncurlah cerita yang kemudian membuat aku sempat susah tidur di malam hari.
Atas keberhasilan yang dicapai oleh temanku, beberapa orang tidak suka. Lalu entah bagaimana apes, sial, petaka jadi teman baik temanku.

Syahdan, padahal ..padahal...padahal..
Aku boleh membela temanku yang menurutku baik, naif, lurus atau apa sajalah.
Namun semua itu membentuk sebuah relativitas yang mengundang perdebatan.

Aku masih duduk di depan komputer. Mataku sudah perih.
Kata orang sabar adalah jawaban setiap permasalahan di dunia ini.
Kemarin sudah kutantang berbagai masalah dan jalan keluarnya tiba - tiba muncul.
Aku sedikit lega, walau tetap saja masalah baru datang atau masalah lama tiba - tiba jadi baru (?!!)

Seperti biasa, ramuan penghilang masalah cuma satu
Kalau sedih ya tinggal nangis,
Kalau happy ya tinggal senyum,

Dan sekarang, masih di bangku yang sama, aku menunggu sebuah sinyal..
Apakah aku akan menangis, atau tersenyum???
Ya, aku masih menunggu sebuah sinyal

~kruger~

im speachless my dear friend

heres the line thats keep repeating in my head

The selfish they're all standin' in line

Faithin' and hopin' to buy themselves time

Me I figure as each breath goes by

I only own my mind

The north is to south what the clock is to time

There's east and there's west and there's everywhere life

I know I was born and I know that I'll die

The in between is mine

I am mine

And the feelin' it gets left behind

All the innocence lost at one time

Significant behind the eyes

There's no need to hide

We're safe tonight

The ocean is full 'Cause everyone's cryin'

The full moon is lookin' for friends at high tide

The sorrow grows bigger when the sorrows denied

I only know my mind

I am mine

And the meanin' it gets left behind

All the innocence lost at one time

Significant behind the eyes

There's no need to hide

We're safe tonight....

And the feelin's that get left behind

All the innocence broken with lies

Significance between the lines

We may need to hide

And the meanin's that get left behind

All the innocence lost at one time

We're all different behind the eyes

There's no need to hide

pearl jam riot act album, i am mine

- immortal -